It’s a full time job, keeping me down. Decades of man-hours.

This script was actually written a week ago in a moment of self-pity, but I had a great birthday and now I’m feeling all positive and upbeat about myself. Still this remains Dragon Comic 118, the vast global conspiracy against Dragon.

At first I was a little irritated to wake up and discover that a photograph of some lemons I posted on Facebook yesterday had 50 more likes than I had wall messages wishing me happy birthday (I’m not joking: it was a photograph of my hand holding 3 lemons and it got 90 likes and 1 share, proving once and for all that I really don’t understand people) but as the day progressed, my birthday greetings overtook the lemon likes by a wide margin, because I am actually awesome, even though, as this comic illustrates, that fact is sometimes hard to grok.

When I went into the kitchen, I found that The Man had filled it with flowers and chocolate. Then I looked around online some more and discovered that an article I wrote about Comic-Con was published, and that people were trying to contact me across a variety of platforms. While talking to a friend I hadn’t communicated with in a while, I heard a suspicious noise in the back yard, which turned out to be Mrs. Kitty coming in to wake me up, followed by the Fox, and they took me out to lunch at a fancy restaurant, where the Fox gave me the macro lens I’ve aways wanted. He said he specifically told the guy at the camera shop, “something for taking pictures of bees.”

For dinner, The Man took the kids and me to another fancy restaurant.

Since we all shared all the food at both meals, here is a list of all the animals I consumed today: cow, lamb, duck, chicken, shrimp, swordfish, lobster, scallop. I also got free fancy restaurant birthday dessert (i.e. fancy dessert with a single candle stuck in it; no singing) at both places: a chocolate peanut roulade and a huge slice of apple pie.

So, while I may have eaten way too many animals in a single day, I feel very loved.