Monthly Archives: March 2016

Spring Break!

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Mom’s gonna be spring broke, too, once she’s done paying for a new bed. 

Come for the political/nerd mashup humor, suffer through the dead baby jokes, and stay for the light-hearted child-friendly puns. We’re all over the map this week.

It is spring break, which means 1000s of extra tourists clogging up our roadways, and kids home all day. They’re too old for jumping around and breaking things, though. They’re at that age where you have to outwit them just to get them to look up from their devices. But I got them excited about making cheese, so we did that instead of spending the entire day staring at screens. We made a block of paneer cheese, a 1/2 cup of ricotta, and a quart of whey. Actually, I think we ended up with more whey than the amount of milk with which we started. It’s a cheese-making paradox.

I was going to make some finger paneer, but one block isn’t all that much cheese, and after the kids ate their share, there wasn’t too much left. But now I really want some finger paneer. We had planned a communal dinner with some friends, and I ended up making spinach mushroom pakoras. At our hosts’ house I conjured some apple chutney out of the stuff they had in the fridge, and also salad dressing, which I whipped up on the fly because nobody brought any. Also, strawberries and whipped cream for desert. Other people made Indian curries, salad, and rice. And then, once again, it was late and I hadn’t even considered funny ideas for comics, and this is what I got.

Babies on Boards

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Cookies are for closers.

This is what happens when I don’t sleep at night and then go about my business during the day and then work on this blog the next night. I draw Modest Proposal-themed comics. And boy, did I powerfully not sleep last night. Yes, this is the third child cannibalism themed comic I’ve drawn this year. If you think panel 4 is bad, you should have seen its original paint job, in which I attempted to color the baby like a roast suckling pig. Some blasphemies are too much even for me, though. See? Things could always be worse. That baby just looks like it’s sleeping, right? Easy mistake. Someone plated a sleeping baby by accident. It’s not like we went all The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover on a baby because it was evil or anything. That baby is just fine. That’s not even an apple in its mouth. It’s a pacifier. No choking hazard.

When I told The Man about what I intended to draw and got to the last panel, he appeared mildly distressed and then said, “It’s your career.” It sure is. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you stop caring what anyone else actually thinks of you. It’s nice to bounce ideas off of him. If he’s really disturbed, then I know I’m hitting my target audience, which is people who are more demented than me.

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover is an excellent film, by the way. I highly recommend it if you enjoy being disturbed by the depth of human depravity. I was just a little bit too young to get into rated R movies when it came out in 1989, so I only saw it for the first time in 2014, which is a pity, because as much as I liked it, I would have liked it 10 times more in 1989.

How am I still even awake? Literally, The Man got up for work this morning and I was sitting in my office, having not yet fallen asleep the night before. When I said something about not wanting to take sleeping medication because I wouldn’t be able to get up tomorrow, he said, “It is tomorrow.” And now it’s almost tomorrow again, and here I am, eating chocolate and writing about cannibalism. Again. Might as well be 1996. Nothing has changed.

Enjoy. Or don’t. No skin off my roast baby. I’ve even honed my ability to not respond to people who irritate me on the Internet. So go ahead. Let my know how you feel. I don’t care.

Lack of Resistance Is Futile

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Well, if you’re going to be like that, I’ll go as the Borg cube, and then nobody gets to resist.

First of all, I don’t know that guy, except inasmuch as we all know that guy. But no one reading this should think that guy is a parody of them particularly. At least not anyone who knows me.

It’s not that nobody leaves. My very own sister went to Canada in 2002 and never came back. I also know some guys who went to New Zealand, but those guys did come back. But you know the people I’m talking about. They won’t go. But they will help to further polarize the issues by seeing everything in absolute black and whites.

Anyway, this comic cracks me up, meaning that either the Fox or the Owl will appreciate it, and everyone else will hate it. Ha ha. I am killing this public opinion thing, as usual.

The concept got a mild chuckle out of The Man. He helped me with the last panel. After I considered on Firefly and Star Wars, I couldn’t think of a third fandom with a resistance, even though there are dozens because speculative fiction is all about sticking it to the man. The Man suggested Battlestar Galactica, but I never really watched that show. Then I thought about using this symbol of electromagnetic resistance, but The Man said that was too obscure, and that an actual resister was a lot more recognizable. So there we have it. Begin with the abysmal state of American politics and end with a silly sci-fi fandom slash technical nerd joke.

Dragon Comics 126

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No matter what you have, someone else always has more. But then again, someone else always has less. Really, only 2 people out of 7 billion could say otherwise.

The Man tells me that most people would be satisfied to be as good at one thing as I am at many things, but I guess I was raised to believe that being good at many things is insufficient if you’re not the best at at least one thing. Obviously, I have everything a dragon could need. but dragons can want things, too. Dragons can have dreams, after all. And dragons can be happy for other people and still covet what they have. And that’s all I have to say about that.

An old grad school colleague texted me about her residency at the Atlantic Center for the Arts, urging me to apply for the fall. It’s sort of exactly what I want to do. But maybe not exactly. Definitely, I don’t have the 10-page sample comic, and I’m not sure if my skills are quite ready to tackle my big graphic novel project yet. This is what I really want to do: artist in residence on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. Can you imagine? Best job in the world.

Anyway, it’s been a while since the last Dragon Comic. Over thinking is one of my special skills.

 

Ain’t No Party Like a Star Party

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Ain’t no party like a star party, because a star party takes place far from human civilization, and you can’t play loud music or jump around because the vibrations could interfere with the telescopes and also you’re only allowed to use red lights so you don’t mess up anyone’s night vision while you’re stumbling around in the dark. Also, they’re usually freezing cold.

Technically, they’re not all stock photos but hopefully people have a good sense of humor about it and see that it’s all in good fun, or else don’t see it at all.

Tonight wasn’t feeling like a funny night but you can only do so many jokes about not feeling funny so we gave it the old college try and thought of something that was sort of like something funny but not really. Which then led to Googling “star party,” which brings us to that first stock photo. It’s crazy. He’s out there by himself and he can’t even look through the eyepiece. Clearly, it would be too much back strain. He climbed all the way up that mountain and spent an hour setting up his gear and all he can do is stand wistfully gazing at the cosmos with his naked eye, his $1000 functionally useless.

After that, finding 3 more silly looking telescope pictures to caption took a matter of moments. Telescopes are inherently unwieldy, and from experience I note that that the people vested in carting them around tend to be fairly peculiar themselves.

Cut Paper Creatures on Cards

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For when you want to sit on something soft as a bunny.

Been so caught up in comic and scrambling to figure out what to do when life leaves little time for comics that my RedBubble shop has been totally neglected. This week I also made 2 greeting cards in similar styles with different subjects for very different occasions. Giving art away is great, because it leaves you room to make more art, and with the flatbed scanner, I need never leave a new design behind. That is to say, these 2 new animal images are now available on a wide variety of fine products in my shop.

First, we have Bunnies in the Clover, in green and pink. An assortment of rabbit silhouettes meander around the cool green meadow. They look pretty adorable on this pillow, although the square products cut off designs sized for T-shirts. You can see the entire design in this print.

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A rectangle of rabbits reside on this range

You can get it in its original card format, or as a sticker, or a pair of leggings, or a drawstring bag. There’s something like 37 products now, including clothing, home decor, and, print products.

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Feeling foxy?

The second designs features a woodland creature that would happily eat the bunnies depicted in the first design. It’s the Fox in Clover, and you can see how it strikes you as a pillow, a pencil skirt, an iPad case, a poster, and plenty of other fun products.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing this week in addition to all the stuff I normally do.

Tomorrow will be a more productive day.