Category Archives: Comics

Six New Dragon T-shirts!

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At the risk of potentially promoting myself or something: more Dragon merch! There are 6 new designs in the Dragon Comics portfolio on RedBubble, some of which have been a while in coming.

Dragon and The Man beneath the Milky Way

Dragon and The Man beneath the Milky Way

Dragon and The Man beneath the Milky Way looks great on a dark colored background. Get cozy with nature as you watch shooting stars arc across the dust lanes.

Cool Clothes. And a Beard.

Cool Clothes. And a Beard.

Cool Clothes. And a Beard brings together some of the Internet’s most endearing nonsense: 3 wolf moon, nyan cat, international bearding competition winners, and Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top.

The Machine

The Machine

It’s a water heater! It’s a wankel rotary engine! It’s a solar panel! It’s…The Machine. Fuel your machine with this inexplicable contraction on a coffee cup, or advertise the fact that you’re a no-nonsense machine by wearing a ridiculous T-shirt.

Dragon and Owl Painting in the Desert

Dragon and Owl Painting in the Desert

Creative minds need to find creative ways to pass the time while they’re waiting for the world to recognize their sublime artistic genius. Join Dragon and Own Painting in the Desert and keep your creativity well-fed with tea and pebber nodder

Whatever You Need for Comic Effect

Whatever You Need for Comic Effect

If your sofa needs a little random insanity, Whatever You Need for Comic Effect is available on a pillow. Who needs a bag of many things when you have a magic cave? Carmen Miranda hat, fun size trebuchet, or wearable triceratops head, it’s all within easy reach.

Dragon Rages against the Kids' Electronic Devices

Dragon Rages against the Kids’ Electronic Devices

Give in to a little primal rage against the machine with the Dragon Rages against the Kids’ Electronic Devices; take it with you wherever you go with a travel mug. Or get a sticker and slap it on someone’s Kindle screen.

That’s all the publicity I have in me right now. Support a tortured artist.

.

Dragon Comics 60

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No bears were harmed by anyone other than themselves in the making of this comic.

No bears were harmed by anyone other than themselves in the making of this comic.

I’m not a perfectionist, and I’m not vested in maintaining total control over the end of the process: my work is deliberately and lovingly flawed, and printing and shipping is up to someone else. LIke I said yesterday, marketing and sales are sort of beyond my bailiwick, and what bare interest I muster in the process only reflects a desire to continue spending 40 hours a week drawing and writing. (Obviously, I’m lucky to have The Man to support me in this endeavor, not to mention no small degree of class privilege.)

This comic is offered lovingly in honor of my friend, the bear, who creates marvelous and superlative designs, which he reproduces himself on delicate merchandise in custom colors. Each piece, and the design painted and engraved upon it, must be completely free from defect before he signs, wraps, packs, and ships it. Himself. His work is exquisite. We’ve been friends for over 20 years, and he lives 3 1/2 miles from here, and the only time I’ve seen him in the last 6 months has been in his booth at an art fair.

From a financial perspective, clearly I’m going about this all wrong, but it just sort of hit me last night that finally, after a lot of years adrift (thank you very much web content for search engine optimization) my life has finally aligned itself with true north on my heart’s compass. Life is not perfect, but all the important pieces are engaged and the sun still shines in the daytime.

For the bear, if he reads this, I think your way is successful too. You make a good tortured artistic soul in thrall of his cruel and lovely mistress and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. You are a funny, grumpy, lovable old bear with whom I have not hung out in a long time. Text me.

Dragon Comics 59

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The real-life girl was promoting the idea of giving the cartoon girl a flame thrower in panel 4, but I feel that negates the message of the comic.

The real-life girl was promoting the idea of giving the comic girl a flamethrower in panel 4, but I feel that negates the message of the comic.

People who meet me as an adult don’t necessarily believe that I am a true introvert, and many of them are surprised to learned that I was, for many years, a friendless outcast silently suffering an endless campaign of bullying. I was one of those super-hated kids who got it from both sides, the boys and the girls, in public school and Hebrew school, physical and emotional, and furthermore, there were a couple teachers who I felt were pretty mean for no good reason. Sure, I was probably an insufferable know-it-all who talked about weird and esoteric topics and didn’t realize that others judged me on my external appearance, but what I really would have liked was to be left alone. Like many super-nerds, I made it to college (I graduated high school early and started college literally 2 weeks later; that’s how desperate I was to get out, even though the bullying subsided by sophomore year), worked out some social skills, and suddenly found that the haters were in the minority and I was a relatively well-liked dragon.

Still and all, when the girl started complaining that she was being bullied in school, I suffered a couple weeks of PTSD with her. When I was a kid, there was no response to bullying from school administrations. I doubt they could have done much; when 50% of the 7th grade is involved in perpetrating terror, it’s not like they’re all just going to stop because you tell them. Once, a boy punched me in the nose on the school bus and my mother called his mother, which had no effect on his behavior, and there was nothing else to do. That’s not the case now. Most schools brag about their zero-tolerance policy for bullying, and while anyone who knows anything about children can roll their eyes with the knowledge that adults can’t keep a promise like that, at least they actually try.

Ben’s Bells is a beloved Tucson institution, working toward the goal of strengthening communities through kindness awareness. They have a lot of programs, and offer effective kindness education to schools in the region. Most school participate, include the girl’s. When the bullying began, her parents and I tried to offer her some tools for standing up for herself and getting away from her tormentor, but she wasn’t able to wield them effectively, so I contacted her teacher, who immediately brought several administrators on board, sent the girls to the school’s dedicated kindness counselor (can you imagine? how different would life have been 30 years ago?), and immediately ended the problem. Just like that.

So, I didn’t give the girl a flamethrower, because you don’t have to fight fire with fire. It’s actually more effective to overwhelm it with water: compassion.

Dragon Comics 58

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They don't even have to throw the money. They could PayPal it, and I think The Man is equipped to take credit card payment.

They don’t even have to throw the money. They could PayPal it, and I think The Man is equipped to take credit card payment.

Yesterday’s Boobapalooza T-shirt instantly became my top design, which probably does not surprise anyone, and even though I ultimately make very little money on T-shirts, every sale is gratifying. It does help an artist feel justified.

Telling the inner critic to shut up is a good practice, even if it can be terribly difficult at times. Dragon seems pretty upbeat and definitely inclined to follow the art, not the critic. Maybe this is Dragon’s New Year Resolution? It’s not mine, actually. My New Year’s Resolution was to stop picking fights with random strangers on conservative web sites, and I’ve been 100% successful at it, and it’s definitely improved my life. But Dragon’s take is a good one, too.

We were talking about this online, a few people with different relationships to the arts than I have. A woman who teaches art said she liked to make things, and didn’t want to be overrun with objects. So for her, selling was a practical matter. Now that I create primarily in pixels, I don’t have that issue (although I do need external memory, since the MacBook Air hard drive is pretty finite when it comes to storage) but I do need that little boost that says, “You’re not completely delusional. Someone, somewhere, finds this worthwhile.”

Dragon Comics 57

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Just the delightful buzzing of bees and the delicate swish of the butterfly's wing.

Just the delightful buzzing of bees and the delicate swish of the butterfly’s wing.

I know where this is coming from, but I’m not sure where it’s going. For instance, is Dragon’s meaning the same as my meaning? Is Dragon’s backstory the same as mine, and if not, how insane is Dragon’s backstory? (Because mine might be a little unbelievable, and I’m not even blue and scaly.) Still have a couple days to figure this out.

At least I do know that some part of the world wants my art, because I got another sort of T-shirt commission. I’m not being paid for the design, but based on early response to news of the design, I expect to sell more than 1 as soon as it’s ready, which could be as early as tonight. It’s a commemorative T-shirt for an event come up next month, and the people attending are already a) able to afford novelty clothes and b) interested in the design’s subject matter. Most likely, you can read about/see this stunningly depraved example of outsider art in this space tomorrow morning. It’s quite different from the stuff I draw for myself, but it also helps me see how far I’ve come since I drew my first sketch on the Wacom tablet.

Dragon Comics 56

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La la la...do you hear that? Sort of sounds like the wind. Some kind of really annoying wind. Actually, I don't hear anything at all.

La la la…do you hear that? Sort of sounds like the wind. Some kind of really annoying wind. Actually, I don’t hear anything at all.

Misery, by Stephen King, is a decent scary story about a guy held captive by a deranged woman, and for most readers, and anyone who’s only watched the movie, the plot is the key. What always struck me as most interesting, though, was King’s discussion of the writing process. The movie more or less glosses over Paul Sheldon’s process, while the book not only contains big chunks of several of Sheldon’s novels, but also provides a wonderful description of what it feel like to be a writer “in the zone” (Google Mihály Csíkszentmihályi to learn more about this concept), how the creative process unfurls, and what the art of writing feels like and means.

One of the metaphors King uses to illustrate Sheldon’s ability to survive is the game of “Can You?” a competitive form of storytelling the character played as a child, which involved making up stories with cliffhangers, then tagging the next player to help the character escape his predicament by continuing the story is a believable way. The other player then voted on whether or not they bought this section of the story: Can you? Sheldon always could, and, as he struggles through his ordeal, he realizes he is playing a real life version of Can You? and that yes, he can.

This is one way of looking at the creative life: every day is a game of Can You? If, every day, you play the game, most likely, you find that you can. If you can’t, you probably give up and do something else. But if you can, it sustain you even when the snake slithers around hissing insults in your ear. When you remind yourself that you can, it’s easier to ignore the ones who keep saying you can’t.

Dragon Comics 55

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This reminds me: maybe I should change the batteries in the smoke detector. Also, I should clean my oven.

This reminds me: maybe I should change the batteries in the smoke detector. Also, I should clean my oven.

Any excuse to draw cartoonish illustrations of things on fire is all right by me.

Of course, this comic derives from my very exciting Christmas cold, which was made more exciting by the fact that I had literally just recovered from my epic Thanksgiving cold. That seems sort of unfair. Why can my body not create sufficient antibodies to ward off all the virulent viruses in the air? Why am I exposed to so many viruses when I hardly talk to other people? Why isn’t the plural of “virus” “virii”?

Some questions will never be answered.

In panel 2, that’s a pretty original sound effect. In case you’ve ever wondered, the sound of a dragon sneezing due to a head cold is ker-CHOOFSH. Obviously, some part of the sound has to do with things catching fire whenever a dragon sneezes.

In panel 3 and 4, The Man is, of course, wearing a University of Arizona T-shirt because he is, apparently, some kind of wildcat.

Don’t worry about the table. Being magic, it cannot be harmed by dragon fire.

Dragon Comics 54

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And we’re back! In retrospect, I guess I meant to come back on Monday, but for some reason I thought I had planned to pick up on Wednesday, so here we are.

When the muse sings, you better shut up and listen.

When the muse sings, you better shut up and listen.

My intention was to draw 5 or 6 comics over my break, but of course, I got sick on Christmas Eve and lost most of that week. At least there are 4 finished. Comic back to the comic after take a week off was sort of surreal. It was necessary to remind myself that yes, I can do this.

Inspiration for short fiction sort of comes at your head all the time. I probably write 2 dozens stories in my mind every week. None of them get written down, or even remembered, most of the time, but stories are everywhere. There are characters; there are situations. With the comic, the characters and situations are, by my own parameters, basically the same, but there have to be a million ways to get to the punchline, even if we always start in more or less the same place.

Pebber nodder is a kind of delicious Danish spice cookie, sort of along the lines of gingerbread, but usually smaller than cookies we eat in America (at least in my experience; I am not an expert on Danish desserts) and typically served (I believe) for Christmas. The real life owl is of Danish extraction, but I don’t know her feelings on pebber nodder. We did not eat cookies in the desert over the holiday, although I have hung out in the desert with the owl, without cookies.

The owl, the fox, and the rabbit are my real life writing group, and we do like to go away together to write in a new place. It’s a good form of inspiration, but of course you can’t depend on retreat for inspiration. You have to be able to create in your natural habitat as well.

Dragon Comics 53

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One thing I learned from drawing this comic is that owls IRL cannot wear big floppy hats without covering their entire faces. Through the magic of cartooning, the owl's floppy hat levitates about an inch over her head to allow for maximum visibility.

One thing I learned from drawing this comic is that owls IRL cannot wear big floppy hats without covering their entire faces. Through the magic of cartooning, the owl’s floppy hat levitates about an inch over her head to allow for maximum visibility.

Happy New Year!

Sometimes, scripting comics comes easily. Monday’s comic sprung, fully formed, into mind, every word in place. Today’s comic script came after a difficult labor, one panel at a time, with no sense as to the outcome. Even after panel 4 was completed, I spent hour staring at it looking for a punchline. The owl asking if this was better and the dragon concurring. The dragon stating that waiting was actually pretty nice if you knew how to do it. In the end, I’d like to believe that panel 4 is drawn with such palpable joy as to render words unnecessary. The reader can see that the situation has improved; no words are needed.

As the year winds down, it’s hard not to reflect. I quit my job at the beginning of 2014 and began drawing all the time. I started this blog and the QvD T-shirt shop. I sold a few T-shirts and a few copies of an embarrassing book whose authorship I don’t like to claim even though I totally wrote it. Finally, I’m living my life in a way that feels more or less authentic. According to the laws of the New Age, the money should follow, right?

Not that you go into the arts for the money, but it’s also nice to earn your keep.

QWERTYvsDvorak is going on winter break as of now. We’ll be back January 5 with new comics and drawings and T-shirts and hopefully a dragon hat. Have a great holiday!

Dragon Comics 51

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Why I otter...

Why I otter…

Apparently people are enamored of “the machine.” Personally, I think it’s kind of a mean-spirited device. It gives you *almost* what you want, but not quite, because it delivers the thing you want in such a way that you almost don’t want it anymore. You would be better off without its generosity.

At any rate, a machine this powerful probably can’t be destroyed, although it can be stored in the guest bedroom with all the craft supplies and exercise equipment you never use, buried under antique furs and baby toys and ugly prints inherited from long-dead great-aunts. Dragon’s Cave, unlike my house, offers unlimited storage space, so there’s no question of setting the machine on fire on the front lawn.

Just so you know, the otter will share the doughnuts with the fox and the girl and the boy. He can’t eat that many doughnuts himself. Although I suspect the real otter would have no problem taking doughnuts from a kid for the sake a big laugh. But I’m sure he would give them back later.

I feel like the fox is as much a victim of this prank as the little girl, but something about the way he’s drawn suggests that he knew this would happen and he’s in on taunting the kid. But that’s not the kind of fox he is, I swear. I wanted to give him the punchline in panel 4 but nothing sprung to mind, so there it is. He’s just watching, feeling relatively certain that the otter is just messing with him and will dole out the doughnuts soon enough. Also I like the kid perspective: the girl did suffer, as only a child denied is capable of suffering.