Tag Archives: pun

Koala-T!

koala-t_edited-2 no agm

I don’t see why we wouldn’t win. We meet all the koalifications.

The Man works for an aerospace manufacturing firm, in quality assurance. It’s a job, you know? Every year, the company holds a big picnic in the park, with a bouncing castle and water guns and games for the little kids. Hot dogs and hamburgers provided by the company, potluck for everything else, water balloons, temporary tattoos, that sort of thing. Very America. Much wholesome. In advance of the picnic, they print a commemorative shirt, designed by an employee. Whoever wins the design contest gets a little bonus, maybe $100.

So The Man had this idea, putting the koala in quality. The words are his, and the idea for the picture is his, but he doesn’t have the patience for drawing. He mentioned this concept about 6 months ago, and I said I could probably do it (I’m much better at Photoshop and the Wacom tablet than I was last year!) but we didn’t follow through. Yesterday, he mentioned that the design was due next week, so I did a little sketch. Today he mentioned that it was actually due tomorrow. That was fine, since I had the sketch and no comic anyway.

This is what I did today. I started by looking at how other cartoonists would depict the body of a koala giving a thumbs up. The Man was very clear that the koala must be giving a thumbs up. I was surprised to find that this is, apparently, a common theme, and there were many thumbs up koalas from which to choose. Then I looked at photographs of actual koalas, because most people who draw cartoon animals don’t seem to have ever seen that actual animal, and I like some degree of verisimilitude in my comics. Once I got the eyes, nose, and mouth satisfactorily blocked out and positioned, I just started grabbing colors from actual koala photos, and drawing tiny dots and lines to represent fur. Then I used the blur tool to floofify QA Koala. Somewhere along the line I noted that koalas do not, in fact, have tails and deleted the vestigial one that had appeared in my original reference image. You can’t trust cartoonists. Not about animal anatomy.

The Man was happy with the design but wanted it a bit darker, so I added a layer, grabbed a dark gray, set the opacity to 20%, covered the koala with this shade, and then cleaned up the edges. The Man came in again as I was finishing up the outline and said he could see that I was doing something, but he couldn’t tell what. “I’m making him floofier,” says I. The blur tool is great for cartoon fur.

I used fonts for the lettering instead of doing it by hand. The original version has the company name and “2016 company picnic” written at the top, but I took that out for this blog.

Whether or not we win (“When we win,” The Man said, assuming that no one else was going to top this) I’ll fix this design up a bit more and offer it on my website. Someone, somewhere, wants a Koala-T.

At the Sharkcuterie

sharkuterie_edited-1

This may be the most abstruse, esoteric comic I’ve ever posted here. Who even knows what charcuterie is? Personally, I refuse to eat any type of processed meat. Sausage, cold cuts, anything that gets ground up and smushed back together is not OK with me, and nitrates/nitrites tend to give me a migraine. If I am going to eat meat, I prefer it to look like the actual animal, or at least be the largest possible chunk of that animal, and I would rather get it fresh and cook it myself so I know exactly what’s in it. After 20 years of vegetarianism, it’s hard not to be picky about eating animals.

Besides, do you know what’s in processed meat? No, you do not. Nobody does, not 100%. Not even the garde manger chef who made it. Anything could be in there. Karen Cushman nailed it when she wrote, “sausages are where butchers hide their mistakes,” even though she meant it as an example of snobbery. If not wanting to eat this makes me a snob, so be it.

The original gag is not mine. My brother, probably the only person in the world whose ideas I actually use, sent me an email saying he thought the idea of a “sharkcuterie” would make a funny T-shirt, but he had no idea of what a sharkcuterie would be. And then I spent literally an entire day thinking of puns for stuff that sharks would buy in a preserved meat market. Some of the rejects: mako bacon, porpoisemeat/toroisemeat (I was trying to make a pun on “forcemeat,” the very idea of which sends waves of nausea rippling through my gut, but neither of them really work), and some kind of joke about scotoplanes, which are also called sea pigs. But seriously, who knows that? I had to look all of this up, and it bummed me out that I couldn’t think of anything for terrine, galantine, or confit. Clam chops is funny, even though lamb chops aren’t really charcuterie because they’re not preserved. Poetic license. Or, comic license, I guess. In addition, I also considered making the sausages hanging on the wall look like eels, sea urchins, and anemones.

Anyway, those are some goofy looking sharks. They both need orthodontists.

Also: head cheese. Ew.