Tag Archives: naked

Habitats for Humanity

alien zoo_edited-1

Theirs is a simple species.

This comic belongs to The Man, as in, it’s his concept. I wrote the words and drew the picture, but the particular gag is his idea. Go, The Man! Just because I’m the funny one in the relationship doesn’t mean that he can’t be funny some of the time.

The alien zoo, of course, is not The Man’s, or mine. I think everyone with a tick of imagination has thought about the alien zoo hypothesis. I’m sure I fantasized about what that would be like long before I ever read Slaughterhouse Five. My conception, of course, never involved handheld electronics.

Obviously, we don’t wear clothes in alien zoo.

As for the aliens, I don’t know if I succeeded or not. The Man’s pitch included the phrase “Gary Larson-esque” and I could have drawn stereotypical aliens, grays, or blobs with one one eyeball on a stalk sticking out of their head or something like that, but I’ve always felt that if we meet aliens, we won’t necessarily recognize them as such right away. They might not have bilateral symmetry, or eyes, or limbs. The problem there, I saw right away, is that without SOME human feature, we don’t recognize them as alive. So I had to give them eyes and appendages, at least. Then, because they’re at the zoo, I gave 1 kid a giant stupid cup of the alien equivalent of sugar water, that it’s sucking on instead of looking at the animals, and then I gave another kid a cute human T-shirt, because obviously humans are going to have some fans, even if they’re not pandas or elephants. And then the third kid would have a balloon, but since it’s an alien kid, it’s got a lightning bolt on a string.

The alien parent is fortunate: it possesses sufficient arms to protect all its young at once.


The Venus of Continental Reserve

***Depending on how stodgy your place of employment is, this content is potentially not safe for work. It contains stylized representations of the nude female figure, and while it is not exactly rated-R, it might not be OK in certain situations. Please enjoy in an appropriate environment.***

Don't scroll any farther if you are afraid of what you might see when I move my thumb.

Don’t scroll any farther if you are afraid of what you might see when I move my thumb.

A friend of mine likes to plan things. He likes to arrange them. He enjoyed complications. He had an idea for a party game, and he asked me if he could make a little piece to be used in the game. Originally, he was talking about a “token,” but as he discussed it with another friend who was helping him organize, the word “fetish” kept popping up. When I finally got added to the thread, I saw the word “fetish” and said, “Well, if that’s how it is, I’ll just recreate the Venus of Willendorf.”

Her shape is classical: her coloring? Not so much.

Her shape is classical: her coloring? Not so much.

I was guided not only by this old representation of the female form, but also by some speculation (which I read in Jean M. Auel’s Earth’s Children books) as to how such icons might have been used. the way the legs are formed, the figure could be stuck into the ground to stand by itself, potentially guarding a space. In a spiritual sense, of course.

Side view: who needs arms when you're shaped like this?

Side view: who needs arms when you’re shaped like this?

I had to mix my own color: gold, yellow, and white, with a touch of pink, but once I got the caucasian skin tone down, I liked the idea of using some modern colors for accents. The original Venus has no face, just ringlets of hair around the head. I decided to go with this sort of Princess Leia look for this girl’s hair, and if you’re going with purple hair, why not have hot pink nipples. My Venus is about half the size of the Venus of Willendorf. Part of the specs said that the fetish should be small enough to be concealed in the hand, so this thing is only about 2 inches.

Sweet cheeks :)

Sweet cheeks 🙂

She took about 2 hours to model. Per usual, I learned a lot by making her, and could probably do a better, faster job if I wanted to make another.